Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll go and eat worms;
Long thin skinny ones;
Big fat juicy ones,
See how they wriggle and squirm.

Bite their heads off,
Suck their blood out,
Throw their skins away,
Nobody knows how much I thrive
On worms three times a day.

Long thin skinny ones slip down easily,
Big fat juicy ones stick;
Hold your head back,
Squeeze their tail,
And their juice goes drip, drip, drip.

On Top of Spaghetti (Tune: On Top of Old Smokey)

On top of Spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.
It rolled down the garden, and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush!
The mush was as tasty, as tasty could be,
And then the next summer it grew into a tree.
The tree was all covered, all covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs, all covered with sauce.
So if you have spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
Hold onto your meatball, 'cause someone might sneeze

Gopher Guts (Tune: Old Gray Mare)

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mangulated monkey meat,
Dirty little birdy feet,
French-fried eyeballs lying in a plate of blood.
And me without a spoon!

Great big piles of beat-up muddy tennis shoes,
Dirty sweaty underoos,
Once been worn by kangaroos!
T-shirts fit for monkeys in the best of zoos,
My Mom will wash them soon!

Big foil packets full of meat that makes ya sick!
Kill it with a broken stick!
Cook it on the campfire quick!
Stir it ‘round until you see it getting thick!
My campfire meal’s so good!

Dirty Lil, Dirty Lil

Lives on top of Garbage Hill

Never took a bath, never will

(hawk, spit) Dirty Lil

Mom, wash my underwear, my only pair.

We can find them, and move them,

From the heap by the side of the chair.

To the washer, to the dryer,

To my backpack, to my rear.

Mom, wash my underwear, my only pair.

Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Didn't you see, that light turn red?
Now there are tracks, across your head.
Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?
Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?
You did not see the motor boat,
And now your guts are all afloat
Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?

Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Why were you running from the mutts?
Now that truck, spread out your guts...
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?

Dead Dog Rover (Tune: "I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover")

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover

That I over-ran with the mower.

First leg is missing, the second is gone.

Third leg is scattered all over the lawn.

No need explaining the one remaining

Is lying on my neighbor's roof.

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover

That I over-ran with the mower.

 

 

The Cannibal Song (Tune: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat")

 

Stir, stir, stir the soup

Taste it with a spoon

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy

Hope she'll be done soon.

Sniff, sniff, sniff the meat

Salt it like you should

Tasty, tasty, tasty, tasty

Humans taste so good.

Slurp, slurp, slurp it down

Never get enough

Hope we trap more humans soon

We're crazy 'bout this stuff.

Whew, burp, burp, I'm full

Guess I'll have to stop.

Oh, well, what the heck

Pass me one more toe.